Bachelor Recap Night 5... FAIL

So I missed last weeks Bachelor recap, but I am on my game tonight blogging as the show airs! I must warn you though, if you get offended easily, I don’t care. This is how I feel!

First off, I love this show! … this season, not so much. I think it’s that I really just don’t like Juan Pablo though. Especially after watching tonight’s episode. This was literally my face half way through...

Tonight everyone flew from South Korea to Vietnam for this week’s adventures of love. All the girls seemed to get settled in nicely, after last week’s awkward villain moments with Nikki.

Renee was chosen for the first one on one date. They shopped in some kind of market and he even took her to a dress store where they made a special dress for her! She went back and got the dress before dinner and it looked stunning on her! She seems to really be falling for him and always thinking about kissing him, even though it hasn’t happened yet. During dinner, Juan Pablo really connected with her, and he even said he could see a future with her. After dinner, JP gave her a rose, but failed to deliver on the kiss. He did have good reasons behind it because he said he didn’t want her son to watch and thing he is getting a new step dad…

While Renee was on her date, the girls sat at home and pondered who would get the other one on one date as always. Andi is going a little crazy over getting time alone with Juan Pablo. She was chosen for another group date though, while Nikki got it instead.

The group date started with all the girls meeting Juan Pablo at the water to start their day in some bamboo boats. JP told them to all pair off, so they all had a buddy except for Clare. Well in the words of Kelly, “That’s the first time in anyone’s life that having no friends is to their advantage.” I totally agree! Clare is getting to be the attention hog of the group. Once they got off their boats, they walked to a Vietnamese families house and had lunch after picking it themselves. They literally were given hats and bowls and then sent to the field to pick different vegetables.

So yet again, they all magically change into their dresses for dinner. They all were sitting around a table outside ready for some one on one time with JP when he asked to talk to Clare first. After he had spent most of the day with her, grabbing her first pissed off most of the girls. He surprisingly took her to his suite and they got in his pool… what the what?! I can’t even imagine how they walked back to the group after that.

The rose on the group date was pretty intense! All the girls were crazy mad when he gave it to Clare! Danielle and Alli are continuing to get overlooked on these group dates, but other girls like Kat, Chelsi and Cassandra didn’t seem to stand out either. Kelly has some of the best commentary and facial expressions for everything. I want her to stay on the show just for her attitude at this point. JP is getting too predicable and is kinda annoying me at this point.

All the girls went back home and talked about how tired they were, so Clare took advantage of that and took off to his suite! They got their bathing suits on and went swimming… Wait no. Clare said it was magical and she just let her self go. I mean what?! Congratulations on looking like a slut on national tv Clare AND Juan Pablo. Looks like next time she gets out of a limo, she won't have to fake a pregnancy. I believe the ocean had a condom for you too. 

I am so confused after what just happened… I am finding myself utterly disgusted with JP at this point as he goes to his date with Nikki even though I am not a fan of her. The only thing pretty about her today is her hair. I wonder if the producers tell them what kind of clothes to bring, because they all seemed to have the same Daisy Duke shorts and cut off tank tops with tennis shoes.

Anyways, he takes Nikki to this cave, and they climb down to the bottom of it. Of course she was the damsel in distress and cried a bit before they started their journey. They made it down quite a bit and she started to freak out, so as always, JP gives his magic kiss and makes it all better. And wouldn’t you know… they finished and she felt so great about her self. Ugh… way to go Nikki! Way to suck.

On a good note for her, she is pediatric nurse, and that is no easy job. She has to be some kind of a good person, and have a heart, to have that job! She had many good things to say during their talk tonight so I guess she deserved the rose tonight.

Juan Pablo made the rose ceremony night very tense by walking in and saying he was going to send home three girls tonight. He pulled Renee aside and they walked off to talk. In the middle of her sentence, he grabbed her face and started slobbering all over it. Renee was beyond excited and went off dancing to the cameras about it. You go girl!!

Next Juan Pablo pulled Clare aside and told her that the other night was weird for him because he is trying to be as fair as possible. … So does that mean he wants to sleep with all the other girls now too? I think that Clare just went down in JP’s list. I know she went to the bottom of mine. He went on to say that his daughter was going to see this episode and not like it because of his actions. Is it crazy to me to think that a 5 year old wouldn’t know what was going on in the ocean? I mean I wouldn’t have understood when I was 10 years old!!

When he finally walked back to the all the girls, there was a weird, tense vibe going on and they know something is up! … so far no one has found out about Juan Pablo and Clare’s sexcapade, but I can only imagine everyone seeing this tonight!! Women Tell All… here we come!

Last Season: Sean and Catherine wait to have sex until marriage and are adorable! This Season: Sex on episode 5 and they are disusting. 

With Renee, Clare and Nikki already having roses, Juan Pablo called Sharleens name first with Cassandra to follow. Then Chelsi, Kat and lastly Andi. Goodbyes went out to Danielle, Alli and I am so sad to say Kelly!